HARD TO BELIEVE II

I promised more on my opinion of "It's Hard to Believe" and here it is.

During the discussion Dudette and I had on the subject, I sorted out a few of my thoughts on the matter.

First: A couple that seperates during the first couple years of a relationship usually has one or both of them really not in a position for the responsibility. It sounds good at the time but, quickly "they", (singularly or collectively), realize, "this isn't where I want to be". Most people don't know the work involved in making a relationship work. Some never do. Not that we are born with this knowledge, it just comes as a surprise. If you're not ready to tackle it, it will destroy everything. Even if the person you're with is the right person, the impact will do you in. You either roll with the punches and get a sense of balance, you plant your feet and handle the onslaught head on and persevere, or, like a good poker hand but against a better opponent, you fold, cut your losses and run. Let's face it, if you find out about something truly disturbing in the first couple years, there better be a police officer telling you about it, otherwise you didn't have a clue about the basics of the person you're with.

Second: After the first survival wave, you enter into the second stage, which lasts up until about the ten year mark. During that time you'll find out all sorts of things about the "significant other" that may send you screaming off into the night, never to be seen or heard of again. It is usually during this time the excuse "irreconcilable differences" means something. More often, it is a difference of opinion or habit that either party just cannot come to terms with, gambling, cheating, finances, which side of the bed they want to sleep on...The whole idea of, "I'm going to change this after we're married", comes into play. It takes a while before the truth dawns that it isn't going to happen. This happens to both parties by the way.

It is learned, sooner or later, that two truths are universal; he ain't gonna change, and she is.

Third: Once you survive to this stage, it is usually something tragic or stupid that does a relationship in during the next ten years. Tragic is self explanatory. Stupid could fill the Library of Congress. Pick your poison. It usually starts like this, "Do you KNOW what s/he DID? S/he DID...(fill in the blank)!

Some call it the midlife crisis. If you aren't careful with your midlife, it could be a crisis.

Now, after about twenty years together, both people should have a pretty good idea who they are with. If they haven't killed each other by then, and are still together, chances are they are going to have photos on the wall with both of them having grey hair.

If they seperate after this point, chances are they stayed together for all the wrong reasons; "it'll kill my mother, it's for the kids, it cost to much to be seperated, it's the only way I could get insurance..." At my work, I've been around all types and some of the stories I've heard, would curl your hair. Surprisingly enough, I still hear new ones all the time, and I've been listening for a LONG time.

(Gotta look for that big "S" for stupid on my forehead.)

End of my current opinion. Life still happens when you share your thoughts.

Comments

[billy]

...well you nailed the reason my parent's split - they waited until me grandpa was dead :^(...he told them it would never work - so they had to prove him wrong :^)...

[Bogie]

That is just the worst excuse I have ever heard Billy!

[billy]

...errrrr..yep...and it didn't lead to a fantastic home life either...but, that don't matter because each of their four children are all in long term, loving relationships (true my elder bro and sis had a practise run at getting it right but they are winning second time around) me and me younger bro (who were at home for the divorce) seem to have found our perfect matches :^)...